Today I’m coming off a near-all-nighter at the emergency room with a loved one. It’s my second night this week in the ER—with two unrelated circumstances.
Sometimes this happens. And it occurs to me that it might be helpful for you if I describe how I navigated going through a situation like this while staying Bright. So let me lay out how I managed, in the hope that when you’re facing moments like this, it could help you out.
The first incident happened Wednesday night. David and I were woken up at 2 am with the news that one of our loved ones was on the way to the hospital. I knew it would probably be a long time in the ER, so I packed my breakfast. I don’t leave the house without my food any more than I’d leave the house without pants on. There’s always a moment to pack a quick meal.
I didn’t pack the breakfast I had written out the night before. Instead, I threw some nuts, an apple, and a portable grain in a Tupperware. It took me only a minute.
A day and a half later, I was still recovering from that long night. I had a meeting that morning and didn’t think I could face it. I meditated and cried and crawled back into bed for a little while until my Highest Self told me it was time to get up. I went to the meeting…super late, but better late than never. And it was essential that I stay sensitive to my need to fill my tank back up after the ER experience.
Then, last night, I was out with one of my kids and some loved ones, and one of them passed out and fell face first into a concrete floor. It was 8 pm, and we were on our way to the ER again.
I’d had my dinner and did not need to pack food. I thought, rightly, that we’d be done before morning. If needed, though, I could have swapped out with David to get home for breakfast.
A word about my food thoughts and food cravings this week. I shot a vlog a while ago on dragonflies and dragons. A food craving is like a dragon that swallows you up; it demands that you eat. A food thought is like a dragonfly that lands on your shoulder. It feels like an invitation to consider food. When the dragonfly lands on your shoulder, you’re at a choice point. You have the option and the ability to brush it away before it grows into a dragon. As soon as you turn toward it, however, it opens the door to further thinking about that food and before you know it, you have a dragon on your hands.
In the past few days, it felt like I was walking through a swarm of dragonflies, particularly when I was in the grocery store. So I called a Bright friend, just to tell her that I was grateful to be Bright, but that the food was calling to me. A two-minute phone call. I used my mantras: that’s not my food, that’s poison to me. And I got out of the grocery store Bright.
After I got home last night at 3 am, I went into triage mode and began canceling things. What was most urgent, and what could I put off till later? I canceled a bunch of meetings. I slept a bit, then woke up, meditated, and had breakfast. Then I went back to bed. I needed a nap and then my lunch. I am giving myself the grace of doing this vlog in my office rather than going into the studio because it feels more gentle.
I feel like there’s a part of me that is a very effective, kind, skilled Girl Scout troop master. When the Girl Scouts are on a hike and things go awry, the master needs to handle bruises or broken bones, while navigating the route, and making sure everyone stays engaged and safe and well. And I have a part of myself that reviews the calendar, cancels non-essential events, changes plans, and reorganizes my world when life gets lifey. That Girl Scout master in me knows that staying Bright is the top priority.
The habits and routines that staying Bright includes are all negotiable, but breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the right times with the right foods—that must happen. I’m grateful for the part of me that takes over and makes that happen. I’ll be in that mode for a few days, I suspect. We’ve been through a lot in the past few days.
Today I’m going to go spend time with one of my kiddos and stay close to family. So when life gets lifey for you, I wish you gentleness and care and hope you have a Girl Scout master who can shepherd you through it.
