This week we’ll be addressing a provocative question: How do weight-loss drugs affect romantic relationships?

In 2018, a study out of Sweden looked at bariatric surgery outcomes for long-term romantic relationships. They found that those who had the surgery and were married were significantly more likely to get divorced afterwards, while those who were single were significantly more likely to enter into a long-term relationship.

Furthermore, the degree of weight loss predicted the changes—the more weight someone lost, the more likely they were to divorce if they were married, or find a partner if they were single.

As far as I know, no comparable study has been done with GLP-1 drugs. But earlier this year, the New York Times published an article by Lisa Miller, who interviewed more than two dozen people who were on GLP-1 medications to talk about their relationship challenges.

The article focused on one couple, Jeanne and Javier. Jeanne was 53 and had fatty liver disease. She started taking Zepbound and lost 60 pounds—and her marriage utterly changed. At the time of the article, she and her husband had not had sex since she went on the medication. Not once.

Both said that the time since she went on the drug has been the hardest in their 15-year marriage. Jeanne reported that the weight-loss drugs gave her her “no” back. She’s a people pleaser, but now she wasn’t afraid to say no—to sex, to staying out late with friends, to alcohol. She and Javier started to fight. The article doesn’t wrap up what will happen to them, but said that suddenly they’re talking about divorce.

What are the factors here? Are weight-loss drugs taking away people’s sex drive? Studies on that are mixed, with no clear conclusions.

What else could be going on, then? One factor is that weight-loss drugs shift people’s identities. For Jeanne, her identity as a people pleaser went away. She found her no.

Another factor: the couples with better outcomes had some looseness in how they navigated things like mealtimes. For example, couples who didn’t eat together fared better than those where dinner was a big production. Couples who were not in lockstep, with relaxed expectations for each other, were better off after the weight-loss drugs came into their lives.

The article also got into how some couples split up because the weight loss suggested a change in social status. Data shows that couples are often matched in social desirability and physical attractiveness. So, when one person loses a lot of weight, it may mean their social desirability increases, causing a loss of balance in the relationship.

Lastly, there are hormonal changes. Hormones affect our behavior, our thoughts, and our moods, and a lot of them are made and stored in fat. When you lose weight, they are impacted.

At Bright Line Eating, we help lots of people lose weight. We help them change when and how much they eat and how they relate to food. This may break social contracts that people have in their relationships. The article talked about how sometimes that weight loss isn’t attractive to the partner. This can be a challenge, too.

I lost 60 pounds 22 years ago, and I was married at that point for 3 or 4 years. We survived it—but it was hard. So I appreciate how the light is starting to shine on how weight loss and weight-loss drugs can impact primary relationships.

*This special event has now ended.